Sit right back and hear a tale

‘bout a real dangerous guy who without fail

Could sneak up behind you, undetected

And before you know it you be all infected

 

He’s a danger to you only if you’re holding on

To a dismal disposition, like the world is all wrong

His skill is sleek, his methods strong

 

if suddenly your day gets better  and you don’t know why

Cuz you just passed a seemingly normal guy    

Or your heart gets a little lighter without you askin’

Ha – you been shot by the Smile Assassin!

 

He’s the kind of killer they never told you about

Not this world’s common criminal who just wants to keep you down

No this special agent is quite a different beast

He flips the script - he knows that the greatest is the least

 

He’ll kill you with kindness, his weapon of choice

He’s only got one Master and he heeds that voice

Wouldn’t hurt a hair on anyone’s head

So if your mood has been sh*t but you start feelin’ more chipper

Maybe it was the dude behind that ski jacket zipper

Or you feel a bit of sunshine radiate while you’re passin’

Ha! You been shot by the Smile Assassin!

 

I don’t know if you know this yet

But this very moment is the only moment you get

To live and to love so past or future, don’t fret

Just think of that smile, and never forget

 

To feel that mountain sunshine upon your face

Let your gratitude spread all through that place

Don’t let fear get you down in its death spiral

The Smile Assassin shot ya, and joy is viral

 

So if you’re feelin’ confused and maybe pissed at life

Cause the cards you’ve been dealt don’t seem to jive

If you’re sendin’ up prayers and you don’t know who heard ‘em

Gregory the Great knows how to bear the burden

Twinkle in his eye, spark of divine flashin’

Ha – you been shot by the Smile Assassin.